Don’t make me beat you — join me!

I’ve done a lot of thinking about the storm of activity that I have provoked out there on the “Internet”, and have decided that a friendlier approach may be the best way to “close the deal”. For that reason, I have changed the Web log (or “blog”) links on my sidebar back to their chosen titles, as a gesture of my unlimited generosity. I am nothing if not big-hearted. Children make me weep. Puppies overwhelm me with their clumsy joyous stumbles. I have been known to break into song at the mere sight of mashed potatoes and gravy.

But my beneficence does not come without a price. I am extending a “one time only” offer to every Ed Tech Weblogger of significance — JOIN ME! Become a Lighips eLearning Supremacy Reseller! I have been doing a lot of research into this stuff, and I can assure you that there are untold riches to be made by exploiting the untapped wallets of dupes who want nothing more than enlightenment, and are willing to pay dearly for the privilege.

Think about the kind of money that is made by motivational speakers. They charge upwards of $500 per day and much, much, more for ongoing learning materials. And this is for subject matter that nobody is interested in! Can you imagine what kind of lucre we can pry loose from desperate wallets if we are actually teaching subjects that people can use, and especially if we can leverage the BRAND VALUE of the institutions that you work for?

Join me! Become a Lighips representative! I am a balls-out Nietzchean superman. As the Field Marshall of eLearning Supremacy I survey the battlefield that is higher education, and find it much to my liking. What are you Ed Tech Weblogger, ally or enemy?

If you want to turbocharge your income, doubling, tripling, quadrupling your profits every month, I suggest you stop whatever you are doing and read this weblog with close attention bordering on fear. The future is NOW: you can get on the train or be left at the station, or you can be splattered on the tracks. The choices you make in the next few minutes will seal your fate: ruin, disgrace and despair, or early retirement with riches beyond your wildest imaginings.

All I ask in return is hard work, obedience and unquestioning loyalty. You are for me, or against me. You can be my employee, or you can be my victim. I can be your visionary, friend and protector. I can be your doom. The choice is yours Ed Tech Weblogger. Only you can make it.

Choose wisely, my friend. For if you do not make the correct decision, I will see to it personally that you regret it for the rest of your miserable life.


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I’m a genius!

Scott Leslie of EdTechPunk, Mr. Levine and Mr. Norman have all hailed me with remarks about my relationship with the long tail.

As Loverboy once sang, the kid is hot tonight. I just took inspiration from their public support to come up with a new tagline, suitable for business cards, billboards, and TV infomercials:

Leon Lighips is the ‘Long Tail’ that wags the ‘Blog’

All I have to do is sit back and let the money roll in. Just stick with me, because Leon Lighips is ready to sell you your first-class ticket on the “gravy train” we’re gonna ride all the way to “Easy Street”.

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Another triumph…

I’ve been hailed as an “overlord”, one who’s “about to take over the blogosphere.”

Finally, someone who “gets it.” Maybe I was too hard on D’Arcy. But as you will all learn soon enough, I am an exacting taskmaster.

As for his request for more substantive content, I have been so busy fielding lucrative consulting offers and fending off media requests that I simply do not have the time to write everything I would like today. But fear not, trembling reader, over the coming weeks and months I will be sharing wisdom on a range of subjects including, but not limited to:

* how the proven efficacy of my patented “POWER SELLING” method can be deployed to hit the burgeoning eLearning market like a gang of drunken Hell’s Angels with baseball bats.
* how to leverage “bleeding edge” technology such as emailing lists to impose your will on students.
* how to turn your Web log (or “blog”) into a money machine that will light up like a Las Vegas slot bonanza every time you post.

All it takes is the POWER to dream! I’m living proof!

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What online educators can learn from motivational speakers

When I read the Web logs (or ‘blogs’) that are supposedly on the ‘bleeding edge’ of technology, I cannot believe how few of them show the slightest awareness of the power of enforced subliminal motivation. The kind of learning that is literally imprinted into the subconsciousness of the student, consumer, experimental test subject or detainee.

I would estimate I listen to motivational recordings anywhere from seven to nine hours per day, and that’s on days when I leave the house. At least three days a week, I don’t even get out of bed, I just turn on my stereo and listen to Earl Nightingale, Tony Robbins, Tommy Newberry, Tom Flick, over and over again. Sometimes when I do that I get so motivated and inspired to TAKE CHARGE of my life I do it again another whole day. I HAVE THE POWER TO DREAM!!!!!!! I put on my ‘Living on the Winning Edge’ t-shirt and run around yelling that: ‘I HAVE THE POWER TO DREAM!!!’

I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t want online education that would inspire them like this, against their will, if necessary. And I am going to be the key that unlocks that door for my lucky readers.

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That’s L-I-G-H-I-P-S, Farmer

You’ll all have it burned into your consciousness soon enough.

But thanks for the pointer, I’ve added the Abject Loser to my hitlist.

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My first conquest…

I have only begun my quest to establish dominance over the blogosphere, and to transform elearning in my image. Already, Mr CogDogBlahBlahBlah himself, Alan Levine, has acknowledged my supremacy, rightfully declaring me to be king of the Long Tail, the A-List of all A-Lists.”
It’s only a matter of time until everyone else comes to the same conclusion.

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eLearning webloggers are punks…

I wiped bigger pieces of lint off the many carpets I sold at Sears Roebuck. I’m coming for you Downes, Levine, Farmer and Norman. I’m going to be so big there won’t be room in the blogosphere for you. Make way for Lighips.

How does it feel to be a has-been and not even know it?

Get ready for Lighips. I suggest you start practicing how to type it.

Lighips Lighips Leon Lighips

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